Ugh...

I knew there would be hills and mountains left to climb. I knew it would not be easy to accomplish, but we may have come to the "no" we have been hoping to miss.

We had our social worker meeting to update our homestudy. At this meeting, she talked about needing to update some of our paperwork.

Immigration wants all of the paperwork to be less than a year old. Our fingerprints and our physicals are expired...Leonard's expired on 6-23 and mine expire today.

Why is something that is so Biblically correct be so hard and with so many obstacles? Why is something we are trying to do with the best intentions be so impossible? Why, Why, Why?????

We have a call in to our homestudy agency right now to make sure this is all correct. After all of the yes answers, we may have come to our first no. Which would mean the second adoption will not happen.

Mountains of the US

This past week, we were lucky enough to see some mountains and volcanoes of the US. They are absolutely breathtaking.

As I have been praying for the last couple of weeks, for God to move our mountains, I was inspired to see how he has already moved so many. The power behind the volcanoes shows just how much power He has. On Friday, we got the email from our agency that we had been waiting for...

God has moved our mountains and we will be bringing home two little boys. Noah and a little boy with a broken heart.

Han Kang, who will be 6 in August, has a heart issue. It is unknown at this time if it is operable or not, but from all of the information we have received, it is not. Many families had looked at his file, and many families had decided they could not take that chance. They could not face the possibility that he may die from his heart defect.

Leonard and I have prayed, talked, thought, and prayed more about this. We have talked with our older boys about it to get their take on it. We have prayed together as a family as to what we should do.

Then when all of the yes answers kept coming, we soon realized that this was what God wanted us to do.

We have many things still to go on this adoption...finances, paperwork and timing are the three most important; however, so far, everything has worked out ok.

I know people will ask themselves and each other, "What are they doing to their family?" "I can't believe they would do this..."

We also know that we cannot walk away from this child. He needs a family. He needs a chance. And he needs love. Like Nathan said, "Who knows mom, maybe American doctors will know what to do with him when he gets here."

I do ask for your continued prayers for our finances to come together (we were not intending to adopt two at one time...travel should be the same but there are all of the other fees)...and continued prayer for this little boy who is very sick. Pray the transition and the flight will be smooth and will not make him sicker.

God is so good. He will provide...I know He will.

IT CAME!!! IT CAME!!! IT CAME!!!!

YEP - OUR LOA IS HERE (well actually it is not here, it is in the Southeastern part of the United States but it is in the US!!!)

Now, we need to figure out how to get it in our hands as we are leaving on vacation today. Where will I be on Monday? Hhmm.......Good question!!! We will be somewhere in the Northwestern part of the United States.

We had another "yes" yesterday regarding our mountain that we are asking God to move. But the big answer will come on Monday.

Hhhmmm....Monday. It all comes down to Monday. Keep praying for our and our mountain!

The roller coaster of adoption

Did I ever mention that adoption is an up and down battle?

I was doing ok yesterday. I had heard that some families had gotten their LOA's at about 70-80 days. But today, I saw that they had and it hit home.

Why are some families getting theirs at such a short time when ours is taking so long?

My husband and I think we know the answer. But we will know for sure on Monday. I get KLove's encouraging word of the day...

The master said, Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let's celebrate together! Matthew 25:23

With the situation we have in mind, this verse says it all.

Praying that Monday will come with the answer that will glorify our Lord the most!

Day 118

Yep, we are a decent way into the 3 digit numbers today. I have a calendar on my laptop where I have counted out the days (10 days at a time) up to day 120. When I first did this, at around day 60, I thought, "I will NEVER get to the 120 day point. " HA!

But, there is something that is going on behind the scenes, that cannot be talked about right now. Something that would be nothing short of a HUGE MIRACLE!!!! Hopefully, I will know more about it in the next couple of days. (If you would like to say a prayer for us, I would ask that you would ask God to let His hand be in this situation and that things would work out the way He has already directed it to.)

So, if the LOA comes next week, I am almost ok with that, however, I will be traveling cross country and will not have access to anything adoption related.

I was asked yesterday about the adoption and I said we were just waiting for paperwork from China. They said, when you get this paperwork, then you can go to China, right? I said no, then I get to wait about another 3 months...at least. Middle of September? Beginning of October? Ha Ha. That is the laughter of a lady going insane...:)

118 days...can you believe it? I heard yesterday other families were getting their LOA's who had been logged in for 80-100 days. It really makes no sense at all. In my mind, I see an office with a stack of files, going down and down until they finally get to mine. The only difference is they go in order of receipt. But apparently, that is not the case. Oh well. What can I do here in a little town in Colorado?

Nothing but sit and wait....and count the days.

All's quiet on the western front...

Nothing here...113 days. That's it.

It is sad...some days I don't even think about it. Then there are other days, that it is all I think about.

I told a friend the other day it was like all of those months of trying to get pregnant. You would wait and wait and then find out the test was negative...

This time, though, it is every day...you wait and wait for the agency to call and then nothing. Hoping that tomorrow, instead of next month, would be the time!

Maybe tomorrow. (My husband is a huge Chicago Cubs fan. For any of you who know about them, their motto is always, "There is always next year." I think it is starting to rub off on me.)

The unknowns of adoption

Recently there has been a disruption of an adoption in China. What does that mean? It means the family traveled to China to get their daughter, and had to, sadly, leave her there. I am not judging the family, I pray for healing for all of them.

China adoption is different than some other countries, as you know the child you are adopting before you travel. My sister in law adopted from Ukraine last year and had to choose their child there. Meeting these children face to face, to find their child. I don't think I could have done that....

Anyway, it brings me to our adoptions. I remember the day before I left for Kaycee, I sat down with Leonard. I asked him, "What if there is more to Kaycee than we know? What do you want me to do?"

His answer was firm and honest, "She is our daughter, bring her home."

I cried. We had made a committment to Kaycee and no matter what she brought with her, she would come home.

We are both pro-life and we see adoption in the same light. When we were pregnant we opted to not have any of the tests done because we didn't care. No matter what, we were going to give birth to our children and love them no matter their conditions. It is the same with our adopted children.

Noah is older, what will he bring? I can honestly say that from all of his pictures and the information I have received on him, he does seem very healthy and developmentally on target. But what do pictures tell you? What does a couple of sentences tell you?

You never really know until you are there and then some of the issues won't show up until later.

After investigating, I think Kaycee had a very hard first year. She was moved to a second foster home when she was about 18 months where I think she flourished. Up until then, though, in my mother's heart, I believe some awful things happened.

But fast forward almost two years and she is a beautiful, loving, smart, caring little princess. Time with family, loving her and helping her, she has become the child we dreamed of. Kaycee's transition was VERY easy! From the first moment she was put into my arms, she has done very well.

I pray for the same for Noah. 103 days and counting....Looks like September. (I had to get that in in a post...)

Good News post

I forgot to post a good news post...With this adoption being pushed into the new school year, I will need to be out of school for the travel time and would have liked to have been out for at least a couple of weeks with Noah when we get back. Our school, though, didn't have adoption leave. I would have been paid for 6 days.

Anyway, thanks for our school board and our superintendent, we now have adoption leave. Actually they enhanced the maternity leave policy to include adoption as equal to birth. Praise God! It was kind of intense for a while, as I did not know where they were going to go! But I will have time off with Noah when we return. Now I just have to find a long term sub...That could be another story.

Day 99

Nope, day 99 does not bring good news.

China contacted our agency and asked for more paperwork from our homestudy agency. It is sent now and we still sit and wait.

China is shutdown for a couple of days for a holiday celebration. The earliest we will hear anything is early next week...umm day 103? Ugh...

Saw a post yesterday about an TA being received 58 days after the LOA...If we were to get our LOA on Monday AND EVERYTHING WOULD GO PERFECTLY WITH THE REST OF OUR PAPERWORK...that would put us at July 30th for the TA. Then travel about a month - 6 weeks later...

September...

No news yet

On one on my lists, there was a family that had waited 120 days for their LOA. They got it yesterday. I do believe, if my research is correct, I now have the title for LOA on this board...93 days. Ugh, what a title to hold.

The good news is that there was another batch of referrals for the NSN route. These families had been waiting since March of 2006.

Yes that is a horrible amount of time to wait but their children are not as old as the amount of time we have been waiting for one specific child. A child with a name and a face to us...

Now, I have a prayer request for a special little boy...He is 5, with a heart problem waiting for a family in China. He has been waiting for a family on one list for I think 4-5 months. He is the cutest little guy. He is with WACAP if you are looking for your son. I don't know how long they can keep files, but I would think his time is probably running out...

Still nothing

I was going to write this on day 90 but instead, I did it on day 89. I resorted to reading the Rumor Queen today. Nothing... not even a hint that there might be something out there.



I wonder how many times in the last couple of weeks I have been asked when we were getting Noah and/or IF we were getting Noah. My favorite answer now is, "I don't know."



If we were to get LOA this week, we couldn't do anything with it as husband is out of town. So nothing will be done for a while.



I am REALLY down about it today. What good is it doing to wait this long? What purpose does it serve?



I read Kaycee's blog about her adoption the other day. Here are some comparisons of the two adoptions...



December '06- found Kaycee on agency's list December '07 - Found Noah on agency's list

March 6, '07 - DTC for Kaycee February 19, '09 - DTC for Noah

May 18, '07 - LOA for Kaycee May 18, '09 - Nothing for Noah

July 2, '07 - Gotcha day for Kaycee Gotcha Day for Noah? Maybe Aug/Sept?

Non Hague adoption Hague adoption



Yep, I am complaining!!! Sorry...

A picture is worth a thousand words...

How cute is this? It has to be the cutest picture I have ever seen. What a BIG BOY he is here! For some reason, it is absolutely my favorite picture!

I think this is Noah's foster mom. Their relationship looks so close. I really need to find something very special for her. I like the idea of a photo album. I need something more too.

Um, can you say maybe we are a little spoiled? Sorry little guy, but we can't fit that into the suitcase when we come home! :)

He looks so healthy! So well adjusted and so independent. What a sweety!

I knew it...

When I was in Las Vegas, Leonard and I were discussing the Swine Flu...would it affect adoption travel.

Rumor has it. Saw there is a rumor on a yahoo group from an agency they have been hearing rumor that all adoption travel will be haulted due to the flu.

What else could happen?

I guess I should be selfish and state that maybe it will be blown over by the time we would travel anyway...unless it pushes everyone back.

Can you tell I am negative about our chances of traveling even in August?

No news yet...

Other people are getting their LOA's. Not us....

I know it is coming.

I just have to patient.

But that is NOT IN MY BLOOD! Honestly.

I gave my husband a time line to ask me to marry him...I never really told him that but it was there. (I really would have waited longer...but you get the picture. I would have married him after our first date...which was a blind date :)!!!)

I am just not a patient person. God is really trying to teach me something.

As horrible as this sounds, there are some days where I don't even think about the adoption. It was been going on SO long that it is just normal to be waiting.

Is that as profound to others as it is to me? "It is normal to be waiting?" Hhmm...

What to get...

I am looking for something special to give to Noah's foster mom. I can actually meet her when I get Noah.

What do you tell her? What do you ask her? She has been Noah's family for the last at least 2 years (longer than we have had Kaycee.)

I have never put it into that perspective before...Noah is 2 months younger than Kaycee.

Yikes. That is hard to swallow.

Anyway, I am thinking about maybe a locket or something. I don't know.

If you have any suggestions, I am open to whatever!!!

I hope she has email. I would love to keep in touch with her!

Silence is NOT golden!

Nothing so far. Nothing at all. Oh well.....I thought since we are hearing anything about him, maybe I would just post pictures of him. Isn't her cute?

You would think I would be doing my homework...but no...I would rather post pictures of our little boy!

Reworked paperwork at the agency this morning

Due to weather, we didn't have the internet ALL WEEKEND. Guess what I needed ALL WEEKEND? The internet.

Leonard had school, I had school but more importantly, I needed the internet to get our reworked paperwork to our agency. We finally got it late yesterday!!!!

All of the paperwork got there...finally.

Hoping and praying this is it. It is day 61 today!

Another bump??

Yes of course. It think this has to have been one of the bumpest roads ever...

Ugh!

Today, I open my email and there is an email from my agency!! "China Adoption." I think to myself as my heart is racing - our LOA!!! It is here!!

I open it.

Nope, not the LOA. CCAA has asked that we now go to the online system. We are having to move our paperwork online. All of this paperwork has been sent to China, meaning it needs to be recreated here.

Supposedly it will not lengthen anything, however, there have been many families with LOA's already who were logged in at the same time. Will it add time? I guess we will never know, really. Because no matter what, we have to do it and the LOA time is our time.

Ugh!

The LOA watch

I am getting a litte nervous...don't tell my husband!

We are on day 57 of the LOA watch...after reading Lynn's comment to my post earlier, there are now 4 LOA's I have seen that have come in on days 58, 59, 59, and 61. But then there is the one that was blown out of the water and came in at day 107. Who knows?

So the question is, do I get the boys there passports because maybe they will be able to come with me? Good grief...up again, down again.

One thing is for sure, I need to get things going on my side of the ocean.

YIKES!!!!!

It is almost funny

If you go to our other blog for our family, you can go back and see what issues we have had with our paperwork. It has been all along.

Now there is another one. This time it is will the parenting classes. We have one left. It will be on May 16th.

Which means I am now praying that we DON'T get our LOA until May 15th. All of our parenting classes have to be done before our LOA can be sent back to China. Even if we get our LOA back before May 16th, the LOA cannot go back to China until our classes are done.

Can you believe it?

Me either.

Noah

I had a blog dedicated to our journey to Kaycee, so I thought I would do the same for Noah. Noah is our son, who is still waiting in China.

Our journey to Noah began way back in December of 2007. Yes, it really did.

I belong to a China adoption yahoo group, where a mass email was sent out about a little boy, who was not quite 2 that had bilateral microtia. It peeked my interest, as that is the same condition as Kaycee's.

I emailed everyone on the list and told them I would be happy to talk with them about this condition as I had a little experience with it.

No responses.

I emailed the agency and told them the same thing.

They were very thankful.

I waited. No emails.

I prayed for this little boy to find his family.

I emailed the agency again. This time with the question of "Has anyone contacted you yet?"

No, was the answer.

I prayed again for this little boy to find his family.

In February, I emailed again. He was still waiting.

I asked God to open the heart of my husband for this little boy. I believed we were his family.

In March, we sent our LOI - asking China if we could adopt this little boy.

The rest as they say is history. It has been a long battle of getting our paperwork done, all of the approvals done, etc. etc....

But here we are, on day 42 of our wait for LOA.

And here is Noah, on day 1206 of waiting for a forever family.